Freedom of Choosing your Friends
Jennifer Ireton
Isn’t it wonderful when in sadness or in joy, we as women can pick up the phone or jump on the e-mail and get in touch with our girlfriends? We feel a sense of connection, a common ground to those "sisters" we reach out to. They can be blood sisters or just friends, but either way their bond to us is close. We share hopes and heartaches, seek advice and comfort. Our friends help us to break from our reality long enough to regroup and re-embrace it.
There are so many reasons we need to have these bonds. Women statistically speak thousands more words per day than men do. So we need a sounding board to share our thoughts and words, which friendships provide. Also, research shows that women with at least one close friendship are physically healthier.
I experienced great pain when my best friend passed away unexpectedly; she was also my sister. We used to spend hours on the phone talking. When I would have these long conversations with my sister it was a therapy session. Getting to share many rational and crazy ideas all at the same time, not feeling judged, a clearing of our minds, that’s what our friendship was like. I am thankful to have a network of friends that’s been helping me fill that void.
When God provides us with family we consider as our best friends, we are truly blessed. However, most of the time, we have to choose our friends. God encourages friendship by allowing many people to pass through our lives. Some we will call friends, some just acquaintances, and others we will just bless them along their merry way. I once read in a network-marketing book, that by the age of 25, you’ve probably met over 600 people, pretty amazing. How do we figure out to whom we cling and from whom we flee?
When you begin your faithful Christian walk, trying to serve the Lord in all the ways he expects, you may find your choices become more apparent. After attending church for a period of time, I’ve found many other Christian women with whom I’ve developed close relationships. God has put these people in my life to strengthen the areas where I’m weak, and for that I am thankful.
As part of God’s plan for us to spread "the Word", he will put non-believers in our life. I like to call them searchers, because whether they are actively seeking God or are living what they believe to be a contented life, they have a hollow heart that continually aches for Christ. This is our mission field. These are the people God wants us to be a witness to.
Then there are "toxic friends". The friends who were probably our friends before our salvation. They don’t accept us with our new way of life and don’t want to hear anything we have to say about it. They are purely interested in the lure of the world, and all the sinful practices that goes with it. In here you will find a challenge, for if they are at all knowledgeable about the Bible they may try to convince you that you will be forgiven if you go along with their sinful ways. They may also try to convince you that you are there to save them. Many Christians face this dilemma with their own unsaved family members.
God is very specific about how we respond to deliberately sinful people. He doesn’t want us to fall away from him, and if the forgiven, but ever present sinful nature inside of us is tempted, we may fall into that lifestyle. Distancing yourself from these toxic friends will help you to keep control over that temptation and honor God's commands. If dissolving the relationship is unthinkable, you may try creating a safe or neutral environment in which to spend time, where the sinful temptation will not arise.
Pray about your relationships and choose your friends wisely. Let the Lord guide you through the process. He has commanded us to love thy neighbor as thyself. You have the freedom to make the right choices to glorify God in all that you do. Show all your friends that you love God.
